Almost went to jail.

Three weeks ago some of the mom friends of my wife started making mums for their school age kids.  My wife called our school and asked them if our school was going to let the kids wear them to school.  The school said no.

Boom.  Last night a flyer was sent home letting us know that they could wear mums on Friday because of the homecoming game for their high school.  Son of a bitch.  Instead of a nice leisurely day off we were driving around looking for mums.

My mother was born in Niagara Falls and her parents were born in the old country, Italy.  My grandmother spoke Yankee English with a slight Italian accent.  My mother spoke like a Yankee, she would say "hamburg" instead of "hamburger", she just sounded like she was a Yankee.  Her relatives thought she sounded like a Texan but we didn't hear it.  My father was from a little town in Texas.  Real little, their claim to fame is to be more than 2000 residents since 1980.

If I sounded like a Texan my mother would smack me up the back of the head.  If I sounded like a Yankee my father would yell at me.  How do you think I sound?  Nowadays, most people think I'm from the midwest.

So here we are in a mum store and this lady says "You're not from Texas are you?"  BITCH!  YOU WANT TO STEP OUTSIDE AND SAY THAT?  Living with my parents has taught me to control my emotions and not let much show.  I so used that training like you would not believe.  That's why I almost went to jail today.

I'm going to start wearing a bolo tie and boots.