Bleah.

It's been a pretty crappy day today.  Not actually a bad day just not a good one.  Something got me to thinking of my mother and that linked to missing my mother and my father.  That turned into thinking about how the next funeral I go to will probably be my brother's.

I'm going to watch a funny movie and go to bed.  Tomorrow will be better.

Ouch.

I've been working this week, physical labor actually.  And tomorrow I'm off so I had absolutely nothing planned.

Then my wife said that her friend wanted to go on a bike ride and I could go with her.  WOOHOO, RIDING TIME!

After a week of physical labor and tonight a 7.5 mile bike ride I'm tired and sore.  It's shower time and then I'm out.

A story of my father.

My parents owned a furniture refinishing business and the first thing in that business is to strip off the old finish.  Coincidentally enough that is known as both stripping and the most painful part of the business.

The chemical used to remove the old finish is this painful clear liquid that eats away at rubber, plastic and your flesh.  This stuff was clear (at first) and had a slight soapy feel, before the pain that is.  It was expensive so it was filtered and reused.  The filtering was easy, it drained into a strainer and then into the recycle bucket.    Once it had been filtered and reused the consistency changed, it went from being light and airy like gasoline to thin petroleum jelly; in other words it would stick to you even if you shook it off.

My parents were recycling before it was cool.

The standard procedure when stripping was to put on the rubber apron, face mask, rubber gloves, and rubber sleeve gaiters.  The stripper would eat through the rubber gloves first.  When you started to feel the burn in your fingers you would get your assistant to spray water into the gloves.  If you got the stripper in your eyes then you yelled eyes, lifted the mask and turn to your right so you could get some water splashed in your face.  You would be amazed how sensitive some parts of your body are; armpits are just as sensitive as your eyes with this stuff.

One day my father is stripping with my mother helping him.  He gets the stripper in his eyes so he hollers out and lifts his mask.  He also took a step off the platform.  My mother is spraying him down and he's still hollering and then he starts to take off his pants.  He stepped into the bucket of stripper and had stripper about two feet up his left leg.  He was trying to tell my mother what happened but she was spraying water into face and couldn't understand him.

They eventually got him rinsed off and that is one of the handful of times that my father left work early.

A competition.

Apparently my wife and I are in a competition.  She took the kids out for a bike ride today and the middle child was telling her that "Daddy goes faster".  And "Daddy's bike rides are more fun".

My wife tried to defend herself with the fact that my legs are bigger.  Same kid said that "Mommy is smaller, she should go faster."

The logic of a six year old.

An Ephiphany.

I had a realization at work today.  Very profound but I'm still working on it.  Nope, I'm not going to tell you what it is.  So there.

New job.

I said job and not career.  I can do it and I think that once I learn what the hell I'm doing I could even do it well.  But it's not something I want to do for the next couple of decades.  I think that is; today was a paperwork and video kind of day.  

I say that I don't see myself doing it for the next couple of decades but I had a bartending job once where I thought I would work there for a year and then get a "real" bartending job...I tended bar there for six years.

Five hours in front of a video screen has tuckered me out though.  It's damn close to bedtime for me.

New.

I'm starting a new adventure in the morning.  That means that I've been trying to clean so when the new nanny comes by tomorrow she won't be disgusted, I think it's standard procedure to clean before a maid comes also.

A new job so I can get out of the house and yell at my kids less.  The extra income will go towards marketing for my real job.  Should be interesting; I've never done this kind of work before so at the least I will learn something,

More insanity.

Yesterday was a kid's birthday so one of the guests did a sleepover with us.  Today was first Monday at Canton so we loaded up the four kids (three of ours plus the extra) and went.  We also took a new neighbor and her four kids.  She had never been before and thought it sounded like fun.

Fun.

Eight kids ranging from three up to ten.  Four are brats, three can be pretty damned bratty and the last one was pretty much perfect the entire day.  What kind of crackhead idea of fun is this?

Yes, going to Canton and seeing all of the weird and wonderful signs of capitalism are great but kids can really make it a stretch.  Nothing really caught my eye but it was fun seeing the "antique" furniture and being told how old it was.

July 4th.

I live out in the country now so fireworks are a go out in the street and light them up kind of thing.  To get to our house you have to pass three fireworks stands; so the opportunity is there.  We bought some and a little before it got dark we started lighting up the sparklers for the kids.  When it got a bit darker we lit up the other stuff.  We didn't go crazy with the fireworks because why should we when our neighbors will spend the big bucks for the professional stuff?  Yes, our neighbors went a little crazy and shot off I don't know how much.  So much that I'm glad that we had a little rain shower this afternoon.  I walked down to the end of the street so I could how much the neighbors were shooting off; they were shooting off so much that I'm going to take a shower to get the ash off of me.

Noise.

We have a police dog.  He's retired now but after breaking two teeth during a bite and getting hit by a car (dislocated knee) he still loves to bite.  He really does love to bite, he's a German Shepherd and people say he bites like a Malinois.  For those of you not into working dogs that's a great compliment.  Gunfire doesn't even bother him.

Every year around this time he goes crazy because of the fireworks.  He'll jump into the middle of a group criminals if ordered to bite one of them but that popping sound from fireworks makes him into the biggest lapdog in the world.

Refreshing.

I had a phone interview today.  It was refreshing in it's simplicity.  She called at the agreed upon time asked me a few questions and told me the pay, the scheduling information, and the payroll standards.  Then she told me a little bit about the background check process and she was done.

None of this crap about useless trivia or philosophical crap that have nothing to do with the job.  And for some jobs that is how I would interview but this is a job to sell wine.  Do you know basic wine knowledge?  Can you pass a background check?  Good, the rest is a needless waste of time.

She didn't waste my time or hers, it was very refreshing.  Why can't more companies do this?

5 Minutes.

Five freaking minutes.  Every five freaking minutes my computer loses its internet capability.  Every five minutes.

How my mother came to be her.

My mother was raised in the 30's and they were pretty damn poor; but oddly enough they had so much money compared to my fathers side of the family.  Her mother was the "typical' Italian Catholic lady and my grandfather was from what I've been told a very "typical" Italian Catholic gentleman.

And from what I've been told a "typical" Italian husband would throw his plate of dinner against the wall if it wasn't up to his standards, or at least my grandfather did.  When I first heard about this I laughed because I could just imagine what would happen if my father had tried to do that.  Picture this:  The plate goes flying across the room and hits the wall and my father is close behind the plate starting to clean it up.  "Hey Baby, when I get this cleaned up could you bring me to the hospital because it has this strange twitch and I think a doctor needs to see it...before I go to work tomorrow with you and the table saw.   Please?"

He also had a problem with girlfriends; from what I was told he had a lot of them and my grandmother would find out about them.  I don't know how long this went on but they were married for over 20 years at least.

And then my Italian Catholic grandparents got a divorce in the 50's.  How often did that happen?  My grandfather remarried and then after decades with this lady he got divorced again.  From what I heard this 80 something year old man had more girlfriends than his wife could handle.  After the divorce he moved in with my parents and proceeded to take the dog out for walks.  A black Afgan, aka the chick magnet.  An 83 year old guy going to bridge games to flirt with the ladies.  That's where he died from a heart attack, I bet he died happy flirting with those ladies.

Once my grandparents got divorced my grandmother kept her married name and from what I could infer she also kept the in-laws.  She went to their reunions and they loved her, didn't really care if he showed or not.

My grandmother was the matriarch of her side of the family as well as her ex husbands side and everyone treated her with respect.  At the only family reunion I went to she would just sit in the shade and everyone would bring everything to her.  I cracked a joke how they treated her like a mobster godfather and she "tsk'd" and said "Don't talk to those boys, they're not people you talk to."  Rumour is that some of my distant cousins are connected but I don't believe it.  At least not until I see better suits at the family reunions.

Money with Time Machines.

I've always been interested in time traveling science fiction.  Whenever two s/f geeks talk about time travel then you have a conversation about what you would do if you had a time machine.  Making yourself rich, lord over the world, meeting famous people, and other pretty normal things.

One of my brothers used to own a tobacco shop and he'll buy or sell some pieces for his collection periodically.  He mentioned today that if he had a time machine he would go back and buy tinned tobacco (some of the stuff he sold for $8a tin is going for over $50 now) then sell it now.  I had an epiphany, he could put on a disquise (or use a strawman) and go to his shop and buy the product from his past self.  He pays in advance because he's not going to buy one tin, he'll buy a case then he could buy some pipes when the tobacco market was flooded.  Of course once the pipe market was flooded then you could use your contacts to buy other stuff that you noticed was selling well on ebay or etsy.

Actually, a time machine would explain where all of this "vintage" crap is coming from.  "Found it in my attic", I call bullshit.

Stupid computers.

The default gateway is not available.  Problem fixed.

About every 20 to 30 minutes I lose internet connection, I do a troubleshoot on it and it tells me what I wrote above.  What the hell?  Whilst writing this the connection was lost twice.  I'm going to watch some tv.

Mimes.

I'm kind of underwhelmed with mimes.  I understand that what they do requires a lot of skill and practice but I'm just not that thrilled with them.  That being said, I want a mime to follow me around in some park and imitate everything I do.  When I notice him I will crush him by clapping with one hand.

Really, I can do that.  I used to practice martial arts with a blind card mechanic that could do it (Richard Turner).  Someone asked him how he did that and I practiced it.  It annoys my wife to no end.  Eventually, I'm going to teach my kids how to do it.

Celebritites Part 2.

I want to meet Ellen Degeneres because I want to ask her about her wife.  I have to restrain my crazy whilst Ellen doesn't.  How does Portia handle it?  Will Ellen do something "crazy" and Portia will smack her on the shoulder?  Ellen is also hillarious and her insights into the mind of her wife should be illuminating.

I said that Ellen doesn't have to restrain her crazy but thinking about I might be wrong.  She might just have a better outlet for her unique perspective on reality.

Celebrities. Part 1.

There are various celebrities I want to meet.  Sadly, the only reason I want to meet Ben Stiller is to tell him that while I liked Mystery Men and Night at the Museum I think that his best character was in Zoolander.  I know that everyone else hated the film but that was the only film of his that I didn't hope his character died early on in the film.

Rushed.

I have things I need to do in the morning.  Lots of things and they need to be done early.  I also have things that need to be done tonight.  And I haven't been sleeping well lately.  Bedtime for me is coming soon and I have to pick what I'm doing tonight and skipping until tomorrow.

Another kind of insanity.

My wife and I have a friend who is insane.  Why do I think she's insane?  She offered to have a sleepover with my two oldest and her two kids.  That's why I think she's insane.  When my youngest wanted to go and was throwing a fit about it she offered to take that one also.

Completely bonkers I say.  Thank you though, the kids said they had fun.

Sort of...

I met my wife in June about a decade ago.  Actually I met her before that but we had our first date in June.  The day after our date she called me to tell me that her doctor was putting her in the hospital for observation (eventually we found out she has a genetic condition).  I asked her if I could see her when I got out of work.  Sure, I might be asleep though.

I brought a book to the hospital in case she was asleep, she was.  That started a pattern for us.  Before and after work I would visit her in the hospital.  If she was asleep then I would read and if she was awake then we would talk.

That wonder and uncertainty that I had back then was fun but would I go back to that instead of the life I have now?  Hell no.

Happy "Anniversary".

Phone calls.

Whilst in the car today I heard the song "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails.  I've heard this song twice and the first time I told my wife that I can't stand it when a musician remakes a song and doesn't do it that well.  My wife looked at me and said that this is the original and Cash did the remake.

Today I heard the song and all I could think of was how awesome it would be to have a legend in your field call you up and ask to work with something that you've put your blood, sweat, and tears into.

ARGG

No monitor means that typing out a blog is real difficult.

New trails.

We took the kids to the city park today.  My wife told me that they have bike trails so I took my bike.  Score.

We get there and since I don't have the trailer I'm wearing my helmet, then it's riding time.  My wife tells me where the trails are and off I go.  It was a nice and easy trail.

As Tina Turner said it in her version of "Proud Mary" I'm not nice and easy.  When I don't have the kids in tow I'm much more reckless on my bike and the bike has the scars to prove it.  I've gotten a little road rash but nothing major.  I want the more "technical" rides (I think most people call them more dangerous rides) because they are more of a workout.  When you go down a hill, with a trailer, at about 10-15 mph and increase to about 25-30 mph then you're having fun.  You can even hear my kids screaming things like "YEAH, FASTER, AGAIN".  When you do that without an extra 100 pounds dragging you down then you can go even faster and not bother with the brake to make that turn.

It was a peaceful and graceful paved jogging path in a park.  The trees gave you some nice shade and I had a nice breeze but it wasn't me.  My wife told me that there were some dirt trails a little farther away but I decided to hang out with my kids instead.

Mortgage quickie.

Have you ever thought about being a landlord? I am one and like anything it has it's ups and downs. Now is a great time to be a landlord, a lot of people need the flexibility of a rental. A broker I know sold a duplex to a couple who were going to give it to their daughter as a wedding present.  Nice wedding present.  

Why didn't my parents do that?

Interview fun.

Decades ago I went on a job interview.  It was a restaurant that I had never eaten at so I got there early to try the food and just observe the place in action.

I have my lunch and I'm not impressed.  I knew that it was a soup and salad kind of joint but I was expecting that maybe they had some type of protein to put on the salad.  Maybe some grilled chicken or beef or something other than the possibly fake bacon bits.  The soup was also forgettable.  I know it was some kind of cream based soup and I even remember tasting it and looking for something in the soup to tell me what kind it was.

After lunch I sit at the table and watch.  I count the tables and chairs and make a guesstimate on their turn rate (during the interview I found out I was real close).  I watch how this store has six managers that I counted on the floor.  It also has numerous hourly employees.  The interview was for 2 PM and I was there early to watch the lunch rush.

One table near me had a dirty tray and plates on it.  I got there a few minutes past 1 PM and all six of the managers walked past it at one time or another as well as some of the hourly employees.  During the interview it was still there.

At a few minutes before 2 I clean my table and go up to manager and tell him that I'm here for the interview.  He tells me to have a seat and he'll be with me in a second.  He and two other managers are at the table in about five seconds.  Why three managers?  It was a training location and one of the managers was in training.

They spend about five minutes asking about me and then spend about 20 minutes talking about what the company can do for me.  Not a hell of a lot.  The starting pay was lower than current with yearly and not performance raises, hours were longer, distance was greater.  The benefits were the same except for the half-price meal per shift.  I thought the food was crap so that wasn't much of a benefit.  I didn't want this job so I started having fun.

I pointed out the dirty table that by this time had been there for over an hour.  Instead of one of the three cleaning it up they got an hourly employee to clean it, and they bitched at him for not doing it earlier.  I played with the numbers; I did all of these numbers in my head which I think impressed/scared one of the managers; the average check was x, y number of people, with z table turns which means they do about q in sales per day.  The main manager told me that they do about 5-10% less than that on the average for the week.

I didn't want the job and when I realized that I started having fun.  They still offered me the job but nope.  The company has grown but from what I hear the food is still crap.

Facebook for Lent.

I'm thinking about giving up facebook.  I use it for work so I would still use the messaging part but other than that I'm thinking about giving it up completely.  I put Lent in the title because I thought it would catch more attention.

I've noticed that facebook is full of animals, peoples random complaints, peoples random whines, sports stuff, and politics that get real abusive real fast.  I just don't want to see the negative stuff and the cute animals can be very time consuming.

Haven't decided yet, might give it a trial run in a week or so.  I'll let you know.

Father's Day.

It's Father's Day and that means that we honor mother fuckers.  Odd when you think of it that way.  If your father is around let him kick back and relax.  If he's gone then hug your kids for him.

Another quickie.

Happy birthday Alora.  We went to the park today for a birthday party and I'm tired and my kids are even more tired.  We had ice cream cake and a unicorn pinata.  I do wonder if we ever find out that unicorns are real will they be beaten to death by candy crazed kids because they thought it would have candy in it?

We got a flat of cherries today in our food co-op, I should have brought a bag to the party.

Lawns.

My mother was a few steps beyond the typical green thumb.  I would tell people that she had the fist of you better grow.  When I lived with my parents some of my chores were to mow the grass.  Since my brothers Boy Scout troop sold some natural fertilizer my mother would buy two bags every year and that was the only thing she put on the lawn.  One bag for the front and another for the back (50 pound bags).  That lawn (St. Augustine) was lush, thick and so green that golfers were impressed.  How thick was it?  I had to mow it twice a week or else it was to thick to cut.  It grew in the winter also, I had to cut it once or twice a month then also.

I'm in my 40's currently and today I bought my first lawn mower.  Our old house was almost a quarter acre but that grass was pretty lush also (thanks to my wife) so we bought a push mower for it.  Don't laugh, push mowers are really good for the grass; they damage the lawn less so it can spend more time and energy on growing.  Push mowers are not good with tall weeds or uneven lawns though.  This new lawn has weeds out the wazoo and instead of paying a lawn service $50-60 every two weeks we decided to just buy a mower and do it ourselves.

As I'm pushing this thing around our postage stamp lawn I remembered the first time I was responsible for mowing my yard.  I hated mowing the grass then so I hired the local lawn boy.  I still hate it but the teen and preteen kids that might do lawns aren't as cheap as they used to be.

That's a real world motivation to do well in new career if I ever needed one.  Do well enough to hire a company to come out and do the lawns for us.  Screw the distant vacations to exotic lands, the real incentive is someone else doing the lawn.

A simple recipe.

Today I'm giving you a recipe. Chocolate Tortillas. This is a recipe my wife created once just out of curiosity and it's been a winner ever since. One tortilla per dessert. Spread butter on one side of each tortilla, sprinkle with cinnamon and chocolate chips. Put in oven (300 degrees or so for for a few minutes) or on griddle. When chocolate melts take out of oven and spread chocolate and serve.

Signs.

One of my neighbors is moving today. The realtor's sign never came down until the close was final. You might ask why. The sign isn't final until the close, even if earnest money is paid the buyer can still back out. Every person that sees that sign is a potential replacement if the original buyer backs out. Much better to have the sign up a longer time and hopefully promote a bidding war than to not. More questions? 

Refi.

When I bought my first house I was annoyed that my interest rate was 7% and if I had locked in my rate one day earlier it would have been 6.5%. That could have been quite a bit of savings over the life of the loan. I didn't feel that bad after talking to the seller, he had bought his at 13% and never even thought about refinancing. What is your rate? Double check and make sure, it might be time to refinance. 

Summer.

Summer officially started today.  Not really, school got out last Friday so today the kids were going to do things.  I get up and the rain is pouring down.

I was going to bring the kids to the gym and then for my cardio we were going to hit the bike trails.  Can't ride on the trails when it's mudding time.  Plus, the kids stayed up late yesterday because I wanted to sleep in.

I have to get back into the groove of getting up and going first thing.  The less the kids are at home the less of a mess they make.

Inside appeal.

Recently I wrote of curb appeal. What about interior appeal? If you're selling a higher priced house would it be worth it hire a professional maid to come out and do a deep clean? This service might cost a few hundred but it should help your house sell faster. If your house is more modestly priced or if you're upside down then it might not be worth the expense, but then again it might. Do your research and think about it. 

How much I love my wife.

You want to know how much I love my wife?  I volunteered for something.

One of her friends is starting up a church and in the planning phase she asked them what they are doing for security and traffic.  They apparently hadn't thought of it.  She offered to do it and said she would find some more people.

She's telling me how she's having problems finding people to help her out.  I get some details from her and it seems she doesn't need an officer or a security guard she needs someone that isn't always in condition white.  Someone that can actually pay attention and notice the odd things.

I tell her:  "Well shoot, if that's all you need then I can help you out."  How much do I love my wife?  In traffic during the day in Texas, it's still spring but the temp is already hitting the 90's and once it was 101 with the heat index.  That's how much I love my wife.

Curb Appeal.

Before you show or even have photos taken consider having a professional do some landscaping for you. Lawn specialists might run between $20 and $200, maybe even more if the job warrants it. Would you spend $200 so that your prospective buyers would haggle less or to sell your property faster? 

I would. 

Facebook post.

I have a mortgage facebook page and I try to do something on it every few days.  I'm thinking about upping that to daily and if so then I'm just going to copy and paste onto here.  I'll start today actually.

Ask questions. If you're trying to buy a house (get pre-approved first) ask questions. Your agent should be asking questions but tell her what you want. Don't just say "I want a three bedroom, two bath, two car garage with a backyard." Do you want a backyard for your pack of Great Danes (big yard) or do you just want something that you can put a grill in? When I was in real estate school a successful agent said that if I show a person ten houses then I didn't ask the right questions. Don't waste time by looking at houses that you don't want, the only way you can do that is by communicating. More questions? Give me a call...

My eyes are tired, it's bedtime.

Procrastination.

I haven't seen my special needs brother in awhile so I called another brother to see how he's doing.  Apparently he's doing worse.  We were talking about him for a bit and then I told him how I've already started an obituary and eulogy for him.

My brother told me that he's started one also and he thinks our other brother has started one also.  All of us do a bit of writing it seems.

I'm not going to work on the obituary tonight, that's not a fun and easy project.

Interview Woes.

I had an interview today.  I did not go well.  Truthfully, I am overqualified but I'm just looking for something to make a little money and to keep me out of mischief.

This interview was a local place, a big local place, and the confirmation email didn't say where to go for the interview.  They do it as a cattle call (group interview) to save time.  They ask us to fill out these two sheets that we have on the conference table in front of us.  They even passed out pens because these other applicants didn't bring a pen with them.  I was the best dressed there and I was only wearing a button down shirt and a pair of slacks.

The first sheet was an availability chart.  I put down what I was available currently and what I would be available in July.  Currently is some days and some any, July will be any.  The sheet even said that if changes need to be made to the availability chart then a manager must approve it.  The interviewer sees my limits from across the table and asks me if I can change it.  No, my wife has a career with longer hours so I must work around that for my children.  Okay, put your phone number on the top and give it to me.  

That's it, the interview is over for me; she even told me that I can go.  She did tell me to give her a call when I'm more available.  And then she ignored me.  I worked in topless bars and I gave more respect to my applicants.  That's pretty sad.

My name.

Our truck is having A/C issues so I took it to the car doctor today.  I brought a book because I figured that I might be there for a few hours and my books are much better than car and golf magazines.

I go in and they tell me to take the shop truck so I'm not stuck there.  It's okay, I brought a book to read.  No, go ahead and take the truck, we let all of our customers use it.

Are they trying to get me out of the shop?  Are they waiting for me to leave so they can sacrifice a goat to diagnose problems?  What the hell, I knew we needed milk and dish detergent at least.  The closest grocery store is not my first choice because it's a bit expensive and they get offended if you don't accept their carryout offer.  They don't even accept tips.  But I only needed a couple of items so I went there.  I actually bought four items, the two I needed and then two surprises for my wife.

While there the bag boy was also named Justin.  Something I noticed years ago was that in fiction books and movies anyone named Justin is either evil or incompetent.  I really don't mind the evil but the incompetent annoys me.  Why can't someone have a good role model that just happens to be named Justin?

In WKRP in Cincinnati Dr Johnny Fever has a daughter who falls in love with an idiot, what's his name?  Justin of course.  In Carnivale the "villain" is Brother Justin Crowe, he's a great villain but he's still evil.  In Scrubs Justin was the name of an unicorn; don't ask, it's still not good.  I've found two positive role models, two out of 72 on IMDB, one is a rat in The Secret of NIMH.  The other is the title character of Justin and the Knights of Valour.

One's a rat and the other is a foreign film.  So my choices are vermin or Spanish.  What the hell?  Is my name in the middle of some weird conspiracy?  If you can think of a good use of the name Justin let me know.  I've been looking for years and nothing.

What kids learn from us. Part 3.

Yesterday I wrote about what we are teaching our children.  Rereading it made me realize that some people might misconstrue what I was saying.

If a lady is wearing something revealing then I don't care.  If a minor is wearing something revealing then I'm against it.  The ladies were high school cheerleaders and therefore they are minors.  What I have an issue with is the hypocrisy of the school saying that a student couldn't wear clothes that revealing to school because they are a distraction but they will go out and buy them and then reward certain ladies by letting them wear them.

What kids learn from us. Part 2.

I went to the grocery store this morning and I saw some prostitutes at the front door.  Oddly enough my first thought was that the fringe on their clothes was outdated.  At closer look I realized that they were cheerleaders panhandling for something.  I don't carry cash most of the time so I didn't bother to find out what the cash was for.

As I was getting coffee and orange juice I marveled at what these high school girls were wearing.  I'm pretty sure that a student couldn't wear shorts as short as these cheerleaders had on yet they were allowed if it promotes the school in some way.  What the hell?

I've already written a post about some of the things our kids learn from us accidentally.  What are the kids learning when we tell them you can't wear clothes like that to school unless you are trying to get money from strangers?

Job Hunt Woes.

I got a phone call today from some company.  I would tell the name but the lady that called me wouldn't tell me the company name, she said that they were new in the area and I wouldn't know them.  I asked if she was from a recruiter company, she said no.  I asked various questions and she told me some rather vague generalities.

That triggered some thought in the back of my head.  After thinking about it for a few hours I started my research (all of 30 minutes of it) and realized I was right.  I checked on craigslist, CareerBuilder, and Monster.  Quite a few of the ads were vague.  They didn't want to tell you what they did but they most assuredly promised the moon.  Vague about what they were selling, vague about what they did, pretty much they were trying to get a huge number of people to come in and if a handful were viable then they were still on the plus side.

A lot of these vague posts seem to be entry level marketing (door to door selling), high earning potential (commission only), not door to door (business to business sales), or growth industry (commission insurance).

Waste of time for me.  Maybe it will work for some companies but if you can't tell me real information then I don't think I'll spend any time on you.

Democracy. Part 1.

We live in a "representational democracy" currently.  Is it truly that democratic?  Our votes don't elect the president or vp.  The electoral college elects them and those rules were pretty damn confusing to me.  Look it up on www.archives.gov. 

There's a great series of books Michael Z. Williamson in which one of the characters calls the Democrats of old (it's a science fiction series speaking of our present day) the "neo-feudalists".  Personally, I don't see a hell of a lot of difference in the leadership of the two parties but I am an amateur history buff.  I can see both parties showing tendencies to adopt a feudalistic nature, if it suited their purpose.

What is the feudal system of government?  Ask ten different historians and you'll get ten different responses.  Most of them are similar but historians have to split hairs, it's in their nature.  My definition of feudalism is pretty basic:  The government aka ruling elite control pretty much everything, they give what is needed to the lower classes in return the lower classes have protection and "bread and circuses".

Is the US becoming a neo-feudalism?  How many people are on some type of government assistance?  Don't include the children, just adults.  Let's include people on unemployment and on Social Security.  How many people is that?  What is the government doing to get these people off of these programs?

If you are a professional making 40 grand a year and you're laid off you might take unemployment to stay afloat.  While you're looking for a viable position you better not do any other work because then you'll lose your benefits.  And of course the longer you're unemployed then the harder it is to get a job.

So it seems that our government wants to keep the status quo.  Except that the requirements for any type of government assistance are getting easier.  The more people depending on the government for everything, not just a helping hand, then the closer we're getting to a neo-feudalistic state.

Percolating.

I have an idea running around in the back of my head that started just before Memorial Day.  It's about our Congress, in fact it's about most of our political "leaders".  I'm still thinking about what I need to say in that post.

I'm thinking possibly doing it as a two-part piece.  Doing it should be a good way for me to get back into writing serious pieces I hope.

Good night faithful readers.

Posting Schedule.

I read a fair number of online comics but since they update once to five times a week it's easy to keep up.  Whenever I have a few minutes free I'll look and see which one I haven't checked out lately.

One of these people kept up a schedule of everyday, he stopped because it was too much work for him.  I so understand what he was thinking.

I'm thinking about going to a three day a week posting schedule but I haven't really decided yet.  Lately most of my posts have been pretty insubstantial.  I would prefer to do the more heavy political topics or fiction but they also take up more time.  And like most people, time is not in abundance for me.

I think I'll make a decision after I've adjusted to the new job, whenever I start it that is.

Memorial Day.

I've already written twice about Memorial day, you can check them out here and here.  If you don't care about the blood that our soldiers feed to the tree of liberty then nothing I write tonight will change your mind.  Get with it or go away.

To all of you military personnel out there:  Thank you.

Whoops.

I should be in bed right now.  I'm done with the dishes and laundry.  The kids are bathed and in bed.  And then I realized that I haven't written anything for my blog.  Crappydoodle.

I have a terrible sense of time, my wife says that I show many of the signs of ADHD.  I don't know what she's talking about, I'm not that easily dis- oh look a squirrel.

I'm thinking of something a bit more serious for manana.

Cookies.

In some ways I'm a pessimist and in others I'm an optimist.  And just to confuse the issue, I'm a realist in quite a few ways.  The realist part of me is very evident when it comes to drinks:  the glass is not half full or half empty, it needs to have more iced tea in it.  This is Texas and it's hot, we want our iced tea.

On many things I can see the downside and benefits that others might enjoy or curse; I understand that everyone has a different viewpoint and sometimes they have great reasons and sometimes they don't.

However, when it comes to cookies then I'm most assuredly a pessimist.  That cookie jar is half empty and when are you going to make more cookies?

PS.  The cookie jar is lonely and wants a friend, that also holds cookies.

Interview fun.

Had another interview today.  I try to dress well for interviews; shined shoes, tie, slacks, dress shirt, leather folio with resumes and such.  I even have a pen.  No matter what job you're going for that as a start isn't going to hurt.  Other positions might warrant a suit even.

That's how I was dressed today and as I walk in the interviewer looks at me and tells me I might be overqualified for the position.  We talk for a bit and yes, I'm overqualified.  He tells me that he has a few other candidates to interview and some that he has already spoken to were in a much different financial situation than me.

Apparently, two of the applicants are trying to support their family with this job.  Do I want the job?  Of course I do.  I must admit that if he wants me for the position then I might feel a little bad about taking the job away from someone else that might need it more than me.

Dinner.

We do a food co-op every other week.  If you don't know what that is here it is in a nutshell.  The co-op pools their money to buy in bulk from the grocers.  You get a mix of fruit and vegetables but it's always a surprise what's in there.

I also hate wasting food.  One week we had three butternut squash in our basket.  I have no clue what to do with them.  I have them so we're going to try something with them.  I was thinking to use them as a side with my meatloaf.  I looked on google and I found a recipe for "Creamy, Light Macaroni and Cheese", it used the squash and Greek yogurt as the base with other stuff to give it a good flavor.  Meatloaf and mac and cheese?  Sold.

I looked at the recipe and knew that I didn't have many of the ingredients but I've been cooking long enough to "tweak" when necessary.  Greek yogurt is a crime against nature so I used sour cream, my wife loving sour cream had nothing to do with the substitution.  I didn't measure the squash; I just used one of them (two more to get rid of).  I had beef broth and I eyeballed how much went into the skillet.  I eyeballed the milk and it wasn't fat-free crap.  Already told you my opinion of the Greek yogurt crap and I used about three tablespoons of the sour cream.  I eyeballed the "Dalmatian spice" aka salt and pepper, about one teaspoon of each.  I didn't have any of those cheeses so I used cheddar.  I like the pasta that can be stabbed so I used shells.

And then I looked at the clock.  I didn't have enough time to make the meatloaf so I added more sour cream, about another three to four tablespoons, and another cup (or a little less) of cheddar.  I already had the pasta going so I just browned some ground beef and then added the sauce to the meat and put that on top of the pasta.

I guess I might as well put my "recipe" down also, my wife might want me to make it again.

1 butternut squash, cubed and peeled
1.25 cups beef broth
1.5 cups milk
2 garlic cloves, peeled and diced
4 tablespoons sour cream
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
2.5-3 cups of cheddar cheese
16 ounces of pasta

1.  Combine squash, broth, milk and garlic in a large skillet; bring to a boil over medium high heat.  Reduce heat to medium and simmer until squash is fork tender.  About 25 minutes.  Remove from heat.

2.  Place all of that in a blender.  Add Dalmatian spice and sour cream.  Blend until smooth.  Add cheese and blend some more; it's cheese, if it's not smooth the heat will melt it.

3.  Cook pasta according to usual method.

4.  Brown beef (and drain) and add sauce to meat to warm it up again.

5.  Serve sauce and meat over pasta.

6.  Eat what the kids didn't touch on their plates.

The original recipe from Cooking Light.

• 3 cups cubed peeled butternut squash (about 1 [1-pound] squash)
• 1 1/4 cups fat-free, lower-sodium chicken broth $
• 1 1/2 cups fat-free milk $
• 2 garlic cloves, peeled
• 2 tablespoons plain fat-free Greek yogurt $
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper $
• 1 1/4 cups (5 ounces) shredded Gruyère cheese
• 1 cup (4 ounces) grated pecorino Romano cheese
• 1/4 cup (1 ounce) finely grated fresh Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, divided
• 1 pound uncooked cavatappi
• Cooking spray
• 1 teaspoon olive oil $
• 1/2 cup panko (Japanese breadcrumbs) $
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

Preparation

1. 1. Preheat oven to 375°.
2. 2. Combine squash, broth, milk, and garlic in a medium saucepan; bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Reduce heat to medium, and simmer until squash is tender when pierced with a fork, about 25 minutes. Remove from heat.
3. 3. Place the hot squash mixture in a blender. Add salt, pepper, and Greek yogurt. Remove the center piece of blender lid (to allow steam to escape); secure blender lid on blender. Place a clean towel over opening in blender lid (to avoid splatters). Blend until smooth. Place blended squash mixture in a bowl; stir in Gruyère, pecorino Romano, and 2 tablespoons Parmigiano-Reggiano. Stir until combined.
4. 4. Cook pasta according to package directions, omitting salt and fat; drain well. Add pasta to squash mixture, and stir until combined. Spread mixture evenly into a 13 x 9-inch glass or ceramic baking dish coated with cooking spray.
5. 5. Heat oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add panko, and cook for 2 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from heat; stir in remaining 2 tablespoons Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese. Sprinkle evenly over the hot pasta mixture. Lightly coat topping with cooking spray.
6. 6. Bake at 375° for 25 minutes or until bubbly. Sprinkle with parsley, and serve immediately.

I'm Cheating.

Yes, the title says it all.  I've been cheating on my blog.  A few months ago an acquaintance needed some help with getting a restaurant open.  Because of my background he asked me to help and give him ideas.  I did it for over six weeks, each night would be a different essay about the Food and Beverage from hiring packets to marketing ideas to why restaurants should use clear cups for children.  For the past few nights I was just copy and pasting some old pieces to get a little extra sleep.

That didn't always work; insomnia and a small child who thinks that I should sleep less was the order of the week.  I'm thinking about only doing the blog a few times a week but I think that will be a slippery slope to not doing it at all.

Still thinking about what to do.

SES.

Self-Entitled Shitbags. It's a part of the business that some people shouldn't be allowed to come in and subject us to their existence.

 At Applebee's, the customer was always right, if they stole and stabbed and punched out the Pope it was alright as far as the company was concerned because they might spend some money there.

 I so beg to differ. At the clubs we thought that the problem people were not worth the hassle; yes, we would try to work with them (customers and employees) but if we couldn't then they were always welcome to go somewhere else.

I would like to see that attitude in other companies.

Mediocrity.

Years ago I had a GM (general manager, responsible for the club and the managers) named JW. He said that he managed on the pigeon style of management; he would swoop in and crap on everybody. He didn't really but he definitely was a "the sky is falling" kind of guy. That's if one little thing went wrong he was talking about the club numbers going down in flames. If the place was rocking he was telling us managers that we were "phenomenal, phenomenal I tell you!". Some times those "pep talks" would be in the same day.

No matter how crazy he was (a bottle of Coors Light in one hand and a chainsaw in the other kind of crazy; yes, I saw that) he wanted you to stand out. Our office was tiny in that club, he would do a lot of official GM type business in the parking lot. I stole a trick from him, if you bitch at someone do it in private. If you want to praise someone, sometimes do it in public and sometimes in private. In the first year I worked with him he took me outside four times, once to kick me in the butt for being mediocre and three times to tell me about a raise I received.

JW was a real big believer in personal accountability. If you screw up, own up to it and learn from it. If you do well then YOU should be rewarded for it. At these clubs the bartenders would pool their tips, he hated that. On weekends we would have three bartenders; bar one would handle the customers, bar two would be split with customers and servers, and bar three would only be servers. He thought that if bar one was making their money by flirting with the customers while bar three was making their money by server tip out then shouldn't they keep the tips they made (bar two would get a split of both)? If one flirted more than three was tipped out then why should one have to give her money to someone else?
We would tell him that's the way it's always been done. He would reply with whole litany of things: we are rewarding mediocrity, we can't keep the better bartenders because they have to split their tips with a slacker. Then he would bring us into it: "What if we pooled the managers salaries and gave everyone an equal share?" HELL NO! (redneck club) We liked being recognized for our work in the best to be recognized, frequent raises. Some of us had worked at a sister club that had an upstairs VIP room and the servers there would pool their tips. We mentioned that. He was ready for that one, "Who are the VIP servers? Young pretty girls? And the older more experienced servers say they want to stay on the main floor? Think about it, what does that tell you?" He would talk to us about this because he wanted to know what would the owner say when he brought it up.

He brought it up to the owner. The owner made his money on numbers; the more servers the better, the more dancers the better; in general, the more women the more money he made. If a few bartenders or servers went somewhere else and we replace them with not so greatly skilled servers it doesn't really matter.

To paraphrase JW: Fuck that bullshit. You come in and work your ass off and you will make money. If a slacker doesn't want to work then they can go home with chump change.

Corrections.

When needing to administer punishment (in the dog world it's called a correction) I often get the person involved. I'm also a bit of a bastard (as some of you have called me).

If the person was perpetually late I would ask them what kind of punishment they think they deserve. If they tried to do a joke I would normally just be quiet and slowly blink. They would crack first.

When they came up with an appropriate punishment (or I suggested one) it would be enacted then.  If they were getting to the point of needing some "guidance" (damn close to getting punished) I would ask them "Why I should let them do this?". If they did something wrong once and want another chance I might say "Why should I give you another chance?".  I liked having the people involved, it seemed to take the sting out a little bit and made them think about what they did.

I've noticed that I do this to my kids also.

Applications.

I've been filling out a lot of applications recently and I just realized something.  These applications haven't really changed in the past thirty years.  Why does an app request your social?  They can't do a background check unless you give permission and these don't.  I'm not even going to get into the whole danger from identity theft. 

Why do they care what high school I went to?  Why do you care about college either.  If you're hiring a brain surgeon then sure, ask for credentials but if you're hiring someone that has a degree that means nothing to the job then why do you care?  If you care enough to ask for references and prior employment then are you going to call them?  Then maybe you should ask for a phone number. 

How about asking questions that pertain to the business.  If you have a chocolate company then ask them what their favorite chocolates are.  If you have a gaming store then ask them what games they like and why.  Go to the next level and ask them what games they didn't like and why.  Do they cosplay?  As who and why? 

The purpose of a good app is to winnow out the people that wouldn't be a good fit for the company.  If someone wants to work at a place because it's a good fit for them then give them the chance to tell you.  If they aren't a good fit then don't waste their time and yours by putting them in an interview.

Boy Scout Motto.

In topless bars we had servers, dancers, and key personnel. If a waitress or a dancer didn't show it wasn't that much of a problem because we always over scheduled. If some key personnel didn't show then a manager was doing double duty until a replacement was found. I'm a firm believer in cross training so this wasn't always a problem but sometimes you just have to play the hand you're dealt.

If a cook doesn't show then what? Is the dishrat cross trained to cover?  If a server is burned out can they be trained to work the bar?  How about cross trained to a management position?  Or cooks trained to be servers, some of the best servers I've seen started as cooks.   When they tell a customer what's in the item they aren't guessing and trying to remember.  Customers also like how they take possession and say "We cook it like this" instead of "I think they do this".  

The cross training has saved my butt on more than one occasion, a waiter replacing the dj at LaBare, a waitress replacing the bartender that disappeared at another bar, then some other times I wished I'd done some cross training.   The big fight at one club where our big dj (6' something and over 500 pounds) was saving our butt so I ran the dj booth.  You would not believe how many people were excited when he came back, especially me.

 What's the Boy Scout Motto? Be prepared. Or in the restaurant business: Be trained.

Bait and Switch.

The mortgage loan industry is bit of a roller coaster ride for the new people so I went on a job interview today. 

I set up the appointment a few days ago, the ad was pretty vague about the position but the hours seemed good.  I asked the receptionist what positions were being interviewed for.  She said that they are doing interviews for all positions, from sales to management.  Score, my background is management and I know how to motivate salespeople so let's do this.

It's an hour away.  I get there and it's a big office with only the receptionist there.  Hmmm.  I ask for the lady I was told to interview with and she is no longer with the company.  She quit yesterday (no notice given) because she wanted more money, but she might come back.  This is what the receptionist told me before she even gave me an application.  Hmmm.

The receptionist gives me the interview and she tells me that the training is two days.  Hmmm.  On my application I put down that the job I was interviewing for was a management position, this needs some clarification.  I tell her the receptionist I spoke to earlier said that you were hiring for all positions including management.  Oh no, they just say that.  Hmmm.  It's possible that I could work up to management but everyone starts off doing door to door sales.  Hmmm, and we're done.

Straight commission, I was lied to in the beginning, and the company seems a bit unprofessional.  Thank you, but no.

Stupid People.

Years ago I was working at a Tejano topless club and like all businesses some of our employees made mistakes.  This is not a story about her mistake; nope, this is a story about the dumb ass that was trying to do his job and made more mistakes.

It was morning, just a few minutes after we opened.  I'm in the back doing paperwork and the other manager is watching the floor.  He comes up to me and says that when he went to the restroom some customers handcuffed a lady and said they are going to arrest her for warrants. 

Cops don't pay cover when they are in uniform and undercover cops don't blow their cover for a warrant.  What was really going on?  I guessed it was bounty hunters.  At this time I was working with a bounty hunter (very casually; he would show me a picture and I would let him know if they were employees or customers) and this sounded like something he would do.

We go out there and the dancer is sitting with her hands handcuffed in front of her (important) still in her stage clothes.  The three "federal agents" are up front waiting for us.  The main guy says that he's a "federal agent" and shows me his badge to "prove" it.  It's the same badge that my bounty hunter carries, where it says "bail" just happens to be where his fingers are.  I call him out on it, "You're a bounty hunter".  I don't know how many times I tell him that and he continues to say that he's a "federal" agent.  I'm tired of this little game (and his obstinacy has started to bother me) and tell him to show me the paperwork saying that the lady has a warrant.  One of his people already has it; I check it and she has a misdemeanor (my bounty hunter doesn't even bother with misdemeanors) warrant out of Missouri.

Okay, you can take her but she's going to get dressed in her normal clothes before she leaves.  He doesn't like that.  Really starting to irk me.  YES, SHE'S CHANGING HER CLOTHES.  Then my female employee must go with her.  Okay.  I tell my associate to make a photocopy of the main guy's ID, and I tell him that if she comes up missing or damaged we can tell the police that she was fine when she left here in the custody of these three bounty hunters.

I take the cuffs off of the lady because it took them too long and then the two ladies and I go into the dressing room.  I tell the dancer to get her clothes of course and then I ask the other lady for her ID, because to be in a club she must be of age.  She looked to about 30 so I wasn't worried but I just wanted to be a dick.  She said it was in the car.  What?!  I kicked open the emergency exit that was in the dressing room and told her to "Get the fuck out, do you know how illegal it is to be here without ID?"

The dancer is dressed (my dancers would get dressed quickly at my clubs) at this point so we go to the front.  On the way back I told her that their wasn't anything I could do to stop them but I'm not going to fire her for this. 

They handcuff her again (in front again) and put her in a Chrysler 300 rental with Missouri plates.  They were nice enough to go across the street before they called the police and waited for their arrival. 

This was in the city of Arlington and apparently Arlington doesn't like bounty hunters.  Arlington requires bounty hunters to get permission before they do anything in Arlington and once they have permission the police grab the person and the bounty hunter doesn't get the bounty.  And to add insult to injury the state of Texas requires bounty hunters from out of state to follow some procedures.  These three didn't do any of that. 

The police officers that came by (we were watching through the peephole in our front door) looked at the paperwork, talked amongst themselves, and then started to arrest the three bounty hunters.  Once the three were in the squad cars one officer started searching the vehicle and the other came to talk to us.  All this time the dancer was removed from the car and was just standing next to the rental.  The cop talking to us looked like a 40 year old Martin Sheen except that he was about 5'6", we couldn't stop making jokes about that.

We told him what had happened then he told us that the three were being arrested because they didn't have a bounty hunter license for Texas plus the drugs in the car; the unsecured gun where the "prisoner" could reach it was just icing on the cake for this officer.  The rental car was being impounded and the three went to jail.  I don't know how long they were in jail for but we were laughing about that for weeks.  The lady did have a warrant but the officer said it was for a misdemeanor and that Missouri didn't get back to them about arresting the lady therefore they released my dancer. 

I let the lady get back to work, she needed to make a little extra to pay for the surprise trip to Missouri she made the next day to fix her problems.

Tired.

This is my 424th post on this blog.  Some of them -during the move- were very basic and barely qualify but some were more in depth and something to be proud of.  I started this blog to refine my writing skills and to a degree I've succeeded, but it's still not flowing like I would like it to.  Partly that's because I don't have the time and partly it's the pain; when you don't type a lot your hands and wrists will get sore when you type for an extended time period. 

I want to write a book about the topless bar industry, or at least as much as I know.  A business book because I learned a lot in the clubs.  Plus, I think it would be awesome to be a published writer.  I have another idea to work up to the book, but I need more income to do that.  Maybe in a few months.

Scarborough Faire.

Pushing 30 years ago my mother dragged my family to Scarborough Faire.  My father was tired and didn't want to walk around in the sun on one of his few days off.  I was a teen and didn't want to do anything my mother wanted me to do.

zebra wood
 

I don't think my father really cared for the fun and the magic, he was just trying to find out how to get a piece of the action.  The faires generate a lot of money changing hands and he wanted a cut.  My father didn't get to see his company turn a quarter of a century old but my sister did and she's looking at another few decades before she slows down.

When my kids are old enough we're going to have them sell mugs and such.  I'm thinking about teaching them to flinch and say "Not the face" whenever my sister walks by.

Mother's Day.

Today is Mother's Day, does that mean you should get reservations at a restaurant and deal with the crowds?  Not quite. 

Our tradition is to go to Scarborough Faire.  Do something with the mothers in your life.  Have fun and tell them you love them.

A/C

We're in that weird time of the year for Texas.  Not the one when you wonder if 50 will be the high or the low for the day but the other one.  In this one the temperature is just a little too warm.  You're wondering if you should turn on the A/C and cool off the entire house just for those few degrees.

In the beginning of winter you have the same problem but then all you have to do is put on a long sleeve shirt or cuddle and you're good.  In the beginning of summer there is only so much you can take off.

We haven't turned on the A/C in about a month so the electric bill is very low... but that time period is ending real soon.  Pretty soon that A/C will be cranking away and hopefully it will be enough.

Can I?

I've written before about whether or not I can hack it in a bar anymore.  I don't know but the mortgage loan business isn't what I was thinking.  I'm worried that I might need to go back to the bars.  There's a joke in the real estate/mortgage industry:  What do you need to be successful?  A spouse to support you and your marketing for a year.  I didn't know that before.

I think I can do it, I'm just not to thrilled about the hours.  I don't mind working nights and sleeping days but then I can't see my kids and that is sad.

The things you learn.

There is a post on facebook running around about some stay at home dad that is documenting his parenting via post-it notes.  One of the jokes is about how he cleaned up vomit and feces that day "and they said I wouldn't learn anything in a fraternity."

Today I dealt with a sick child, throwing up all over the place and just being grumpy.  It reminded me of the times in the club when some dancer drank too much.  Lay them down on the floor, put a trash can near them, and just leave them alone.  Periodically you would check on them; one time I said "yep, she's still breathing" out loud and the combination of laughter and outrage was humorous.

Bikers and "Bikers".

Years ago I used to date a biker.  She taught me a lot; some things that any cougar will teach a young gentleman and quite a bit about bikes and their culture.  Because of her, I'm not leery of bikers in the least.  In numerous clubs (and just in the street) I've walked up to a group of bikers and started admiring their bikes.

I've also noticed that a fair number of my fb friends are weekend bikers and they will often post something about sharing the road.  I ride a bicycle and believe me, I understand about sharing the road.

And then you see some young punk on the road doing something that only a dumbass would do.  Today I driving home, going about 50, and a motorcycle passes me.  Then they pass the person ahead of me.  The dumb part was the double yellow line he had to cross twice and the fact that he didn't know what was on the other side of that hill. 

I don't mind sharing the road but when someone, that's a dumbass, considers themselves to be immune to common sense and consequences then it's a little hard to have any sympathy for them.

Differences.

A buddy of mine mentioned that he's going to start running because it's an easy way to keep his blood sugar in check.  As someone that has diabetes running in both sides of my family I understand how you want to nip that little issue in the bud.  Some people suggested diet changes and I suggested a bicycle.

Look at it like this: 

                            Pros                                                                Cons

Jogging              Very healthy form of cardio                            Rough on joints
                           Only equipment you need is you                    Joggers find dead people
                                                                                                   They're crazy


Swimming         Cardio and muscle workout                            Need a pool
                           Better for joints                                              You can't breathe water
                           Swimsuits on people you want to look at      Ditto on the crazy part

Skiing                You're playing in snow                                  Not a lot of snow in Texas
                          Snow bunnies                                                 Rather expensive

Bicycling          Better for joints                                               Find a seat that's comfortable fast
                         Cooler equipment                                            Equipment can get expensive                           Starter equipment can be cheap                       if you must buy every new thing
                         You have room to carry snacks and drinks
                         Often bicyclists will ride to a point and then turn
                         around, that midpoint is often a bar
                         With the right wheels you can go on mud and snow

This is just my opinionated and informed opinion.  Keep in mind that anything is better than nothing.

Cut to the chase.

There is a wonderful short story by Lawrence Block called "Cleveland in my dreams" in which the main character sees a psychologist and tries to tell him about his dream.  The psychologist doesn't care about the dream, the problem isn't the dream the problem is the fact that the patient is exhausted after the dream.  The doctor cuts to the bone of the problem and solves it that way.  The patient still has the dream but it doesn't affect his waking life anymore.

I thought about that when I saw a protest against an abortion clinic.  Instead of protesting these clinics why don't these protesters look into ways to help prevent the pregnancy in the first place.  And no, the abstinence doctrine doesn't work.  Let these protesters focus on a small at risk group, young teen mothers. 

I'm willing to bet that when the kids are more involved with school and after school activities then they have a smaller chance to get pregnant.  If the teen doesn't have to be at home to watch the younger kids, and is instead at a school activity, do they have a smaller chance to be a pregnant teen?

Maybe instead of spending time marching around clinics verbally abusing kids we should figure out a way to prevent the problem in the first place.

Painting Blues 3 and Final.

Yes, final.  It's done.  Starting at about 5:30 PM on Friday until Sunday at 1:30 PM we taped off, painted, and cleaned a 3 bedroom 2 bath house.  Could we have done this without the wonderful help of a family friend who watched our children for us one day?  Nope.  Without the weekend daycare place we found?  Nope.  It was a bitch and a half and we're done.

The house looks so much better; I'm sad and proud to say that the house looks better now than when we bought it.

Hopefully, the tenant will pay the rent and take possession tomorrow.  Today is done.

Painting blues 2.

We have less than 24 hours to finish the property.  We painted today.  Painting doesn't really take that long, it's masking everything off and doing it properly that takes time. 

Now all we have to do is clean up.  Maybe a little touch up painting here and there where the sprayer didn't get it.  I blame the sprayer because it's very easy to go a little color blind after awhile. 

Painting Blues.

One of the best films in existence is "The Blues Brothers".  One of the great lines in it is:  It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses.  The reply is:  Hit it.

Why am I quoting Elwood and Jake?  Our tenant moved out of our rental house we need to rent it out soon.  One applicant fell through so I contacted the next one, but now there is less time available to do the things that need to be done.  The backyard was bad; I think a Japanese soldier from WW2 was hiding back there.  Backyard and front yard are done.  We need to paint damn near the whole house.  I contacted two painters (one pro and one semi-pro), the pro never returned the call and the other couldn't do it in the time frame we had.  So we are doing it ourselves. 

As an homage to Elwood, We have about 3/4's of a house to paint, a big bucket of paint, half of a pizza to tide us over, we're not pros... and we have less than 48 hours to do it in.  Let's do it.

Mailboxes.

The style that we have.

We live in a nice subdivision; no really, the HOA says so.  I'm okay with everything around here except one.  The mailbox was made by the subcontractors preteen kid on take your kid to work day, and I think the kid was drunk and angry with life. 

The wind has blown it down once so I tried to put it together again.  Then I called the HOA to see what their specifications were on type and such.  The crappy thing that's here now is what I have to replace it with.  Can I spend more money and have a nice brick or stone mailbox put in?  Hell, no.  You can have crap and be happy that we let you.

What I want.

I've looked at the other mailboxes in the neighborhood and quite a few have some repairs to them.  I've also noticed that quite a few look like they were put together by the same crackhead preteen so more repairs may be coming soon.  What was it, Bring Your Crackhead to Work Day?

The wind blew it down again so I decided to "properly" fix it this time.  I went to the local hardware store and bought some metal brackets and installed them on the mailbox.  Done, the wind isn't blowing this puppy down.  It doesn't look anywhere near as nice as what I wanted but the HOA knows best.  Right.

Damn donut people.

When I lived in Arlington the donut selection was pretty basic.  Some of the places were getting into the fancy donut craze but everybody had my favorite donut:  the devils food.  For those of you that don't know the goodness that is the devils food donut, I pity you.  As a refresher, it's a chocolate donut filled with chocolate pudding stuff and occasionally dipped in chocolate but more commonly glazed.  Simplicity in itself and in chocolate form.

Here in this small town the fancy donut craze has gone crazy.  You can find donuts with all sorts of things on them.  Maple syrup and bacon are very popular apparently.  The craze has even spread to the kolaches, one place near me has brisket kolaches.  They are awesome though.

I find a new place today and I think to myself that I haven't had a donut in awhile so I'll check it out.  I swear the lady behind the counter was smirking when she saw the look of despair on my face when I realized that they also didn't have any devils food donuts.  My hearing isn't the best (thank the nightclubs) but I think she even muttered that my fat ass doesn't need a devils food donut when I can have a maple syrup and bacon éclair.

Highlighters.

I don't miss highlighters but I don't use them as much as I used to.  In the clubs you would use the highlighter for a variety of reasons.  Mark on the schedule who showed up to work, mark on your dance list the names so you could read it in the near dark, and to write on people.

I think that was my favorite thing.  At one club the other managers and I had a contest to see who could "brand" the most employees with a highlighter.  I won that contest.  If a customer needed to leave the club I would write on them with a highlighter so it wouldn't be as noticeable as a sharpie when they got home.  Sometimes the highlighter was just a way to have fun.

One lady told me that if she could sell a bottle of champagne would I put a smiley face on my nose?  Sure.  She sold it and I had a smiley face on the tip of my nose for the rest of the evening.  The next night was a day off and my buddy talked me into going out to a topless bar.  We walk in and he tells me to look at my nose.  I cross my eyes and tell him to grab a table, I go to the restroom and scrub my nose until the ink is gone.

I don't miss highlighters because I have kids that write on themselves all the time.  Not as much fun when they willingly let me write on them.

Doctors.

I have a lot of respect for doctors.  I really do, but I do wonder about them at times.  Whenever I go into a business I can't help but look for things to improve.  I know that some of my ideas wouldn't fly because I don't know anything about the business but some I wonder why it's not being done.

For those of you that say that if there was a better way then it would be done that way, maybe.  Wine is sold in glass bottles with natural corks.  Every vineyard in the world would love to go to a screw top on a plastic bottle but the traditional consumers would prefer to pay more for crap in a glass bottle instead of buying a box of better wine.  To paraphrase one engineer:  Form follow failure, unless people don't want it better.

That said; we love our children's pediatrician and if she and her family were to knock on our door at o'dark thirty and need a place to crash we would let them with no questions asked.  But I wonder how she and other doctors run a business. 

It seems that a way to majorly increase business would be to open on the weekends.  Hire a new doctor right out of college and let them know that they will work on weekends and they are only getting the "easy" patients.  Basic check-ups and the like.  Three days out of the week they work with the experienced doctor to learn things and to make sure that the fng can be trusted.

I don't know enough about the doctor field so maybe I'm missing something.  I don't think so though.

Less ouches.

The weekend is over so the garage sale is over.  I'm still typing up a storm, and unlike Fran I can spell, so I'm still sore.

I've been kicking around a few ideas for different posts, for my more serious one I prefer to think a little about them before I start banging away on the keyboard.  Some of the ideas require research; it's very sad that sometimes I thought I knew something and tried to clarify it before I started writing and found out that I was wrong.

I've seen professional writers and journalists write something that I know is false and it does color the rest of my opinion of what they're writing.  As a case in point, a journalists wrote a piece about gun control and her belief that if guns weren't allowed then children couldn't be killed in school.  She actually said that Sandy Hook was the worst mass murder in a school because of guns.  Not quite, the Bath disaster (1927) killed more people and he didn't use guns; explosives were his thing.  That statement was in the first paragraph, if she had that bad of a mistake in the very beginning then what other mistakes does she have? 

I don't want to write badly, nor do I want to look the fool when I try to state facts.  Hence me double checking what I think I know instead of just banging away.

Ouch. 3.

Still sunny and still getting tanned.  I asked my wife to get some aloe today for the sunburn coming up and she had an alternate idea.  She suggested taking a really hot shower to burn the sunburn away.  Thanks hon; I love you, but I don't trust that idea.

Whilst doing this garage sale I had lots and lots of time to think about what I'll put in this blog tonight.  The sun burned all of the ideas away.  Sorry.  It's bath time for me.

Ouch. 2.

This Anglo-Saxon/Norman boy is getting a tan.  On a related note, my brother is a little crazy.  He's in town and went to an auction; what do you do at auctions?  You buy stuff.  The auction was a closed down jewelry (costume) store and he spent $900 on boxes of stuff.  I was talking to him and mentioned that our neighborhood is doing a big community wide garage sale.  He volunteered me to do the garage sale for him while he's doing a garage sale at my sister's house.

It was in the 80's and not a cloud in the sky.  I've been doing typing tests so my hands and forearms are aching.  I'm hot and I feel icky from being outside all day.  Yepper, it's shower time soon to be followed by bedtime.

Ouch.

I type a fair amount.  Yesterday I would have said that I type a lot, but then today I took a typing test that spanked my butt.  I've taken numerous typing tests in the past few weeks and I've always scored in the 40-45 wpm area.  Then I took this test today and I did 39 wpm.  Instead of it being a one or three minute test this was a five minute test.  It was also old, from the late 60's, the grammar and syntax just felt wrong.  Two tests the lower score was thrown out.  After the first five minutes my wrists and forearms hurt.  A few minutes to relax and then the test again. 

I'm giving myself the weekend to practice and see if I can get it any higher.  I've been typing for the past I don't know how long and I hurt.  Again.

Next few days might be real quick posts.  Or pictures.

Those people.

In the poker world there is a saying:  If you don't know who the sucker is in the first five minutes of the game then you're the sucker.

Here in Texas lawns are a competitive sport.  I'm not inclined to do yard work but I want the grass to be green, thick, lush, and dare I say it...decadent.

At our last house the neighbor's brother was a landscape guy and he about half of the houses in the neighborhood; I think that he accidentally did ours right before a party because they didn't want their "area" to look bad because our grass wasn't as trimmed as theirs.  At this house the yard was going to be done in the late afternoon; a neighbor asked if we wanted him to do our yard. 

I looked around at the other houses in the area and I had an epiphany:  We are those people that always has the yard just not as nice as the others.  Ours is greener but theirs is neater.  My mother would approve of the lush green color but she would sigh because of the unkempt look of it.  We might have to buy a lawn mower now.