Years ago I was working at a Tejano topless club and like all businesses some of our employees made mistakes. This is not a story about her mistake; nope, this is a story about the dumb ass that was trying to do his job and made more mistakes.
It was morning, just a few minutes after we opened. I'm in the back doing paperwork and the other manager is watching the floor. He comes up to me and says that when he went to the restroom some customers handcuffed a lady and said they are going to arrest her for warrants.
Cops don't pay cover when they are in uniform and undercover cops don't blow their cover for a warrant. What was really going on? I guessed it was bounty hunters. At this time I was working with a bounty hunter (very casually; he would show me a picture and I would let him know if they were employees or customers) and this sounded like something he would do.
We go out there and the dancer is sitting with her hands handcuffed in front of her (important) still in her stage clothes. The three "federal agents" are up front waiting for us. The main guy says that he's a "federal agent" and shows me his badge to "prove" it. It's the same badge that my bounty hunter carries, where it says "bail" just happens to be where his fingers are. I call him out on it, "You're a bounty hunter". I don't know how many times I tell him that and he continues to say that he's a "federal" agent. I'm tired of this little game (and his obstinacy has started to bother me) and tell him to show me the paperwork saying that the lady has a warrant. One of his people already has it; I check it and she has a misdemeanor (my bounty hunter doesn't even bother with misdemeanors) warrant out of Missouri.
Okay, you can take her but she's going to get dressed in her normal clothes before she leaves. He doesn't like that. Really starting to irk me. YES, SHE'S CHANGING HER CLOTHES. Then my female employee must go with her. Okay. I tell my associate to make a photocopy of the main guy's ID, and I tell him that if she comes up missing or damaged we can tell the police that she was fine when she left here in the custody of these three bounty hunters.
I take the cuffs off of the lady because it took them too long and then the two ladies and I go into the dressing room. I tell the dancer to get her clothes of course and then I ask the other lady for her ID, because to be in a club she must be of age. She looked to about 30 so I wasn't worried but I just wanted to be a dick. She said it was in the car. What?! I kicked open the emergency exit that was in the dressing room and told her to "Get the fuck out, do you know how illegal it is to be here without ID?"
The dancer is dressed (my dancers would get dressed quickly at my clubs) at this point so we go to the front. On the way back I told her that their wasn't anything I could do to stop them but I'm not going to fire her for this.
They handcuff her again (in front again) and put her in a Chrysler 300 rental with Missouri plates. They were nice enough to go across the street before they called the police and waited for their arrival.
This was in the city of Arlington and apparently Arlington doesn't like bounty hunters. Arlington requires bounty hunters to get permission before they do anything in Arlington and once they have permission the police grab the person and the bounty hunter doesn't get the bounty. And to add insult to injury the state of Texas requires bounty hunters from out of state to follow some procedures. These three didn't do any of that.
The police officers that came by (we were watching through the peephole in our front door) looked at the paperwork, talked amongst themselves, and then started to arrest the three bounty hunters. Once the three were in the squad cars one officer started searching the vehicle and the other came to talk to us. All this time the dancer was removed from the car and was just standing next to the rental. The cop talking to us looked like a 40 year old Martin Sheen except that he was about 5'6", we couldn't stop making jokes about that.
We told him what had happened then he told us that the three were being arrested because they didn't have a bounty hunter license for Texas plus the drugs in the car; the unsecured gun where the "prisoner" could reach it was just icing on the cake for this officer. The rental car was being impounded and the three went to jail. I don't know how long they were in jail for but we were laughing about that for weeks. The lady did have a warrant but the officer said it was for a misdemeanor and that Missouri didn't get back to them about arresting the lady therefore they released my dancer.
I let the lady get back to work, she needed to make a little extra to pay for the surprise trip to Missouri she made the next day to fix her problems.
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