Monday, July 1, 2013

Sahd competition or reality show.

A month or two ago I heard about a reality show based on stay at home dads (sahd).  They were looking for sahds to be in it so I threw my name in the ring.  I haven't heard anything after the phone interview so I assume they cancelled the show or chose someone else.

I have mixed feelings about not getting the chance to be in it.  The interviewer was amazed that a topless bar manager married a cop and she was amazed that I'm a guy that doesn't care about sports.  The fact that I don't go out to a bar and watch the game and shoot the shit with other guys amazed her also.  I was getting the impression that the "playdates" the show was going to arrange involved quite a few sports.  Not my thing.

If it was a competitive show would the contests be who could change the kid the fastest?  "For this contest whoever can unload the dishwasher, put away the dishes and load it again is the winner!  Your prize?  A NEW DISHWASHER!"

If it wasn't the competition type would it just be watching the trials and tribulations of these sahds?  The drama of potty training.  The controversy of home schooling.  The joy of watching children learn.  Sounds boring?  Imagine Morgan Freeman, Alan Rickman, Christopher Walken, or James Earl Jones doing the narration and you know you would be intrigued.  Hell, I know some women that would consider it porn:  a guy cleaning and taking care of kids when those guys are speaking.

Or would they provide alcohol?  And then guys would be guys.  We would sit in a circle and talk about the day before.  The first guy would brag about a load of dishes, a load of laundry, swept floor, making three meals, playing with the kids, and teaching the kids something.  Guy #2 would brag about two loads of dishes, two loads of laundry, scrubbed floors, making three homemade meals, took the kids to the pool, and taught them to swim.  Guy #3 steps it up with "I did the dishes and laundry the day before, scrubbed the floors and baseboards, in the past I took some Cordon Bleu classes so I whipped up a little French inspired menu for the day, played with the kids and taught them some French.  Guy #4 has some royalties coming in from a children's book he wrote so he uses that money to pay for a maid so he has more time with the children, he does an all day block party and cooks up some barbecue while teaching his kids about philosophy and economics.  Guy #5 says that's nothing.  My youngest is a child prodigy so I have to spend my time making sure that MIT guys are polite, I must say that they do put out a nice spread though.  My eldest is the latest reincarnation of the Dalai Lama so those Buddhists do a lot of cleaning.  All I have to do is play with my kids.  I would be #6, I would say "Screw ya'll".  Then I would lie like a rug.

I've noticed that most reality shows have that one person who is the token jerk or bitch.  What are the odds it would be me?

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