Birth.

I was raised pretty poor.  When we got sick my parents told us to play outside.  That was the only medicine we could afford.  Additionally, I know a little bit about quite a lot.  Except medical stuff.  That's a major blind spot of mine.  Which is why when my wife wanted to do a home birth I thought she was insane.

Our first two children were born in a hospital (same hospital and same ob/gyn) and then my wife started hanging out with some crunchy * (I tried to find a decent definition online but all the ones I found were not us) moms.  These moms talked about the benefits of homebirth and my wife already knew what she didn't like about hospital births.  She did more research and liked what she read.  She talked to her ob/gyn (who had a midwife as a mentor) and got some very favorable reviews for the whole process.

*Our definition of "crunchy" is someone that tries to not use the tv as the "big blue babysitter", doesn't go to the doctor when the kid has the sniffles, isn't a helicopter parent (always hovering around), we will spank, we will tell the kids "no", we try to eat at home as much as possible, we grow some stuff (some chickens, ducks and plants), try to use chemical free stuff to clean with, and some other "odd to other people" things.  I know that some crunchy people are extreme.  If they want to do an unassisted homebirth; more power to them, we'll stick with the midwife.

My wife tells me what she found out on her research and I did my own.  She looked at the more traditional websites and talked to her ob/gyn.  I looked at the websites that complained about midwifes and homebirthing.  Most of the complaints dealt with bad choices or bad luck.  If you use a midwife and you don't like her then your experience will probably not be very fun.  Some children are just born unlucky, if your child is born with a birth defect having a midwife or an ob/gyn will not change that.  "Our" (her) history with childbirth is pretty basic, she has no medical complications and the child didn't show any medical problems with the various tests given so "we" were good candidates for the homebirth.

We interviewed various midwifes and the first two we talked to we just didn't click with.  One we didn't like and the other probably would have gotten our business until we spoke to our third candidate.  She rocked.  We just clicked with her.  The right midwife can make the whole process go so much smoother, the fact that she used to be an RN in a hospital nursery ward just made me more comfortable.

In some ways a midwife is just like a doctor.  They are both trying to get a healthy baby out and into the world.  In other ways they are so different, a doctor can prescribe medication if the morning sickness is horrendous (my wife had a net loss of seven pounds with her first pregnancy) a midwife can't.  The doctor must follow the hospital rules; my wife is a rather independent lady and she doesn't take well to being treated like an invalid.  The midwife didn't do that.

The child was born in a bathtub without medication; no epidural, no anything.  My wife doesn't really remember the contractions but I do.  They were more intense but much less time.  Her recovery time was a fraction of the time compared to the hospital births.  We went into the birthing center around nine in the morning and had the child a matter of hours later.  We went home with a new baby a few hours after the birth.  We were tired enough that we thought about going out to eat that night, then we realized just how tired we were and ordered pizza instead.  The water birth is supposed to be less traumatic to the child and mother.  Is it?  The theory seems sound and the water helps take some of the pressure off of the mother.

At the birth we had a massage therapist who is in training to be a doula (he's a family friend).  Just for your information, having a massage therapist there to massage your wife's sore back is awesome.  We had a cd playing in the background (rennie faire music) that the child was born to.  If we play this cd now (two years later) the kid will instantly quiet down.

After doing both types of delivery would my wife do the birthing center again?  Her actual response to that question was "Hell, yes!".  Would I try to influence her away from it?  No.  My wife doesn't have any of the birth complications that would preclude being in a hospital for birth, so what is the benefit to having a hospital birth?  Watching her hobble around after giving birth in a hospital for two days because she doesn't recover quickly or the day after the homebirth and she's ready to go out.

Is it for everyone?  Of course not.  I can tell you my opinion on it but what you do doesn't have an impact on me so does my opinion really matter?  Do the research, talk to midwives and be open minded.  Keep in mind that a hospital delivery bed is designed to make it easier for the doctor to do their job, not for the mother to be more comfortable.  A midwifes job (other than delivering the baby) is to make the mother more comfortable so the birth is less traumatic.  Ours rocked, I hope your search is as fruitful.