I've been using the internet for other purposes lately. Yes, the internet does have a use besides porn and jokes. I've been using it for research. Specifically, research into how to be a better housedad. Oddly enough, not that much research has been put into it yet. I did find some stuff though.
Who is the best housewife in existence? June Cleaver of course. How did she do it? Apparently, at the time speed and meth amphetamine were very common with housewives. Let's see what will speed do to you? Always chipper-good, house always clean-good, and weight loss-HELL YES,we have a winner.
This is going to be awesome. Get up, take a hit of speed, have breakfast, get some laundry done, give the kids breakfast, do the dishes, vacuum the floor, clean up the kitchen from breakfast, even do a little aerobics. Repeat through the day to get everything else done and meet my wife at the door with a martini (she's more of a wine drinker but the martini goes with the Cleaver theme, I do draw the line at the pearl necklace). I would probably make a coffee cake with the speed to combine those two morning activities and actually make my children a proper breakfast so I don't have to share mine.
The downside is a bit of a problem with the law. Wait a second, the drug has other side effects...teeth and gum problems are the most common but not the only. Screw this. I'll do it the old fashioned way.
For anyone not familiar with humor and sarcasm, this was a joke. I'm actually very anti-drug. My wife and I are going to shave the head of any daughters that "experiment" with drugs. I put experiment in quote marks because if you're not wearing a lab coat and getting paid you're not "experimenting" you're using.
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