Rambling about Kids.

Third day and I have no idea what to write about.  One of my brothers is mentally retarded and a bit older, he's 52 and showing signs of dementia or Alzheimer's.  It's very hard to see this, it's terrible to say but I'm glad that my parents aren't alive to see his not so slow decline.  We call him B.R.  I'll write more about him eventually.

For now I'm going to write about dating.  Specifically teens wanting to date my daughter.  When my first child was born I realized that I would need to deal with teen boys someday.  My first thought was the standard cleaning a firearm when the boy comes over to pick her up.  That plan started to get modified when I talked to other fathers and they also had the same idea.

Plan two:  Take a photo of the boy with crosshairs on the picture, just as an "in case of problems" situation.

Plan three:  My wife is a cop and we have an apprehension K9.  Have Orion meet the boy and have the boy take a bite (with the bite suit on) from him.

Plan four:  Shake the boys hand then spin him face first into the wall and punch him in the kidneys until I'm sure he pees blood.  Gentlemen, I do believe I found a winner.

When I was a teen my hormones were pumping and no old guy was going to scare me with a gun, photo or dog.  Peeing blood; hmm, how hot is she again?

Part of my duties as a restaurant manager is to do table touches.  First time parents are easy to spot, compliment the kid and the parents are happy.  With a little girl I would ask the father what he would do with the first date situation.  I told them my idea, always a big grin from the father.  Little boys I would warn to stay away from my daughters.  I would tell them I'm the most dangerous thing in the world, the father of a little girl.  Lots of laughs from the parents.

I was thinking that with my children I would have a bit of time to really plan my attacks on these boys.  Then boom, we get a teenage foster daughter.  I have to really ramp up my game.  She has a friend (he lives about an hour away) and they want to date.  She's worried that we might send him to a mental institution due to our mental abuse.  I laughed and said "It's cute how you think he'll survive us."

My sister is 14 years older than me.  When a guy would come over to pick her up my father would have me kick him in the shin or call her mommy.  Eventually my sister started lying to my parents and would go and meet the guy somewhere else.  I don't want my children to do this so I need to change up the plans a bit.  Yepper, punching him in the kidneys is still my top contender.  I'll keep you informed on my plans.