Having a foster child.

We had planned to do foster care when we moved but then a child came into our world that needed some help.  What could we do?  You're never ready to have children and you're never ready to have foster kids.

I don't know what her home was like before but from what she has told us she needed us.  We're teaching her odd things, cooking from scratch I think is a little odd to her.  I've been teaching her about history, restaurants and tipping (she wants to go to Yale, waiting tables could help) my wife has been teaching her about guns and driving.

One of the most important things we've been teaching her is to have fun.  We've played "stuffed animal wars" with her.  Of course she had no idea what this was to begin with but it's started to appeal to her. Here's the rules:

1. Grab stuffed animals.
2. Throw animals at other people in house.
3. Pick up stuffed animals that people threw at you.
4. Go to number 2.

We think that a child's main job is good grades but a kid needs to know about responsibilities.  All the kids have chores around the house, she actually came up to us and said that she's not used to being spoiled and she wants to do more stuff around the house.  Okay, let's add these things.  She didn't freak out when one of the things we added to her chores was a weekly cleaning of the bathroom all four of the kids share.  We are impressed.  

She wanted to know what time she had to go to bed and we told her it's up to her.  If she is up and ready to do whatever we're doing in the morning then she can stay up as long as she wants.  If she is sleeping in because she was up late having fun don't expect us to stay quiet for you.  If you're working that's different but she's still not working.  

The local mall has an indoor playground for young kids and on some rainy day I told all the kids to put on shoes and socks we're going to the playground in the mall.  I told her that it's a mall and if you want to just walk around like a teen go for it.  When we get there I told her we will be right here and go have fun.  Apparently being a teen girl and wandering around the local mall is the epitome of fun.  

I noticed that her legs had hair on them and asked her if that was the trend for teens now and she said that she wasn't allowed to shave her legs.  Do you want to shave?  Yes.  We will get you a razor, we'll have my wife tell you her tricks.  I did get her some stick deodorant to help prevent razor burn (it's amazing what you can learn in topless bars).  I think that she was a little shocked that we moved so quickly on something that her former home thought was wrong and we think of as no big deal. 

We went to the zoo recently and we did notice some unhappy looks and overhear some things that really annoyed us (we are white and she is black).  That is life.  You hope that your example will lead others into doing the right thing.  If it doesn't, you've still done the right thing.